My writing mojo seems to revisit me today lol idk why don't ask me. Anyway I am back in Malaysia woohoo. I don't know who I am telling that info to as everyone who would read this post would already know that I'm back in Malaysia but whatever.
Okay so my first year in Drake University has concluded. I am mostly neutral about it. In fact, it hasn't even hit me that my first year has ended until I started writing this blog post.
Being back with my family after 9 months of being apart is really something... special. I don't say that lightly because God knows emotions are my worst enemy. But I've been feeling really content ever since I came home which is really good. I am that point in my life where drama is non-existent and everything is smooth sailing.
Gosh. I am an adult now.
I found out I learned a lot being on my own, abroad, half a world away from home. And I guess I would like to commemorate those lessons. So I've learned that:
- I made the absolutely best decision coming to Drake. Here, I discovered that learning is my true passion. It can be highly technical such as Calculus and it can be highly creative such as Philosophy, but not once do I feel burdened by what I have to learn or what I have to do. Assignments are relentless but when you enjoy doing them, it feels so liberating. Of course, sometimes there are bumps in the road-- mostly stemming from the fact that I want to produce the absolute best in my study career and sometimes I realize that my efforts are not enough. But in the end, passion prevails. I have passion for what I'm learning and what I do and goodness gracious, life just feels purposeful. Alhamdulillah.
- going to Drake with my best friend is the absolute best decision ever. I don't know how else I would have fared without him. When I'm frustrated, I tend to bottle everything up inside. Usually. But with him, (although he is never a willing participant), I can just... be myself. I can be as frustrated as I want, I can be as psycho and paranoid as I want. He keeps me sane. More than that really, we are growing up together. Experiencing new things together. I just feel so lucky to always be able to count on someone and not have to worry about pleasing anyone else.
- snow isn't that great. Sure, it's pretty to look at but it gets in your $80 boots which claimed to be water-proof but is really a pair of disappointments made in China.
- I don't like being abroad that much. If I could get the same experience in Drake as I would get studying locally, I would move back in a blink of an eye.
- flights are the bane of my existence. I detest long-haul flights.
- I have softened a lot since moving away. It is really easy to find the good in people instead of focusing on the bad. It's easier for me to find the compassion to be understanding instead of being rigid in my ways. Of course, it is still really hard for me to become personal with people but I think I'm getting there? Lol I hope so.
- being nice isn't the same as being a pushover. I am still struggling to draw the line but I think I am faring well.
- being happy for people is really liberating. I used to get jealous of people. Now, it's really that easy to feel good for someone. To congratulate people for their achievements or to compliment someone for how they dress. It feels really positive and really warm inside to be able to do that and do that sincerely.
- I can't live without my cat. I love it so much that I can't imagine ever parting with it. And I am afraid of my own attachment.
- Forever 21's clothes are really low in quality but I still buy them anyway because they're cheap.
- money will never be enough and I suck at saving them.
- I am never entirely happy with myself but that's a good thing because that means there is room for improvements and I can never be complacent.
That was a long post. I guess there are some other things but nothing more comes to mind.
I am an entirely different person from who I am 3 years ago. And good it feels so good to know that change is constant. I hope that I will continue to grow and to be able to be someone I am truly proud of.
Someday.
