Saturday, July 27, 2013

And the walls keep tumbling down ~

Warning: This is a rambling post with no real substance. It will not be beneficial to anyone's enjoyment nor intellectual development. And it's long.

People are romantic when it comes to important days.
The first day of secondary school. SPM results. The first day of college.

These kind of days, for me however, passed by silently. No indication at all as to whether it should mean anything.
I'm only 18 mind you, but I feel as if some of the biggest days of my adolescence crept silently without me noticing it. It's as if I only got a momentary glance of it. I didn't even have enough time to turn my glance into a careful stare.

And then arrive the demanding convictions of adulthood.

I wasn't taken aback by it. Again, it was a silent journey. It seems like everything in my life is like that- silent. I go to sleep and suddenly wake up the next day a new person with new responsibilities.

There was no momentous decision that brought me to the person that I am today. I followed the flow and ended up where I am.

I don't know why I sound so solemn- it wasn't my intention.

Unto more important things than my constipated emotions; I am a college student now :D
It happened quite a while ago actually but I just got around to writing about it. YAY. I was set on the idea of abandoning this blog completely but then I realised I actually enjoyed writing once. So maybe I could do it again and see if I still fancy it :3

Anyway, I'm in INTEC now bound to US for the course of Actuarial Science.
I don't know why I bother writing that down since knowing me, I don't actually have the will to explain that topic in further detail.

But well, I'll give it a shot anyway (?)

Okay so. I live in a hostel now. It's not that bad. My apartment mates are nice bunch people of it (prolly the only bunch of people in INTEC (apart from my boyfriend) to notice if I would somehow go missing). My classes consist of 5 English classes and 1 Pre-calculus class. My lecturers are nice. INTEC is not too different from school apart from hours of gap between classes which somehow rendered me more exhausted than if I have classes back to back.

Deep sigh.

I keep finding myself sleeping as early as 9 pm whenever I'm at my apartment. It's so disheartening because well, my apartment mates are very hardworking people. The type who conduct study group to study. Whilst I'm still not sure of what I'm actually learning in class.

Le sigh, again.

I know I should change my slacking ways. I have to keep up a remarkable CGPA to actually fly to US to further my degree. But it's still not ingrained in my mind yet. Despite myself, I can't find that sense of urgency in me to start working hard.

Le biggest sigh.

Despite all of that, I have my pillar of strength by my side going through the exact same thing so it's all good I guess. Hopefully we'll get to fly to the States together. And go to the same university and be married. Because I can't navigate my way through INTEC and it's been like 5 weeks. How am I suppose to navigate through the university of US if I don't have him around?!?/1/?!///1/1//?!/1/

*flail* *panic attack* *idk if i want to be married yet omg omg but omg he's so useful to have around*

Maybe I should privatise my blog lol. WHY AM I SO OPEN TO YOU BLOG ALL OF THE SUDDEN. I USED TO BE SO VAGUE AND ~MYSTERIOUS~

Age has rendered me split personality disorder I guess.

Toodles my lovelies :*




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