Darling let go of my hand

17. I'm turning 17 in a few days. I'm graduating too in a few days.
On the verge of adulthood.

An era of my life is ending.
But no, everything's cool. My refusal to acknowledge this very fact has weirdly been rewarding for the past months. I guess things have not demanded me to acknowledge this yet. And that's great.

I thought I could wean off myself from this thought altogether because god knows I do not need the extra pressure. However, subconsciously it's happening. I could not stop it. I started to think like an adult. I started to act like one. It's so disheartening.

Let me enlighten you with the tale of the grown up me.

I went to Popular Bookstore just a while ago. Regular trip, no? Much to my dismay, as much as it was regular, it also gave me the indication of just how mature my conscience have become. For those who know me, they would also know that my favourite colour is blue. My laptop is blue, my pencil case is blue, my correction tape is blue, my scissors is blue, my stapler, my bag, my life is blue. It's quite obvious how much I like the colour blue. And so, when I found myself in need for a new puncher, of course I would try to find one in blue.

Of course, to my chagrin, the blue colour puncher was RM10+. While the regular one was for half the price. Now, if this was me, 3 months ago, I would have opted for that blue puncher. But this me, this new, reformed me, without any second thought (although slightly saddened) grabbed the regular puncher instead.

*GASP*

Yeah. Only after that I went did I have that epiphany. Over a puncher. Because ultimately, it was cheaper and although the blue one would make me happy, I do not think it was worth the extra RM5.

If I could just run and hide in my room and stop time just for a second, I would.
But I can't. I don't think this fear is irrational at all. I think it's very reasonable to not want to be a grown up.

I hate responsibilities. I hate complications.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!