Strength

I reject the notion that travelling is good for you  me.

Notice how I struck "you" and replaced it with "me"? Because it's not good for me. It causes me heart palpitations, back aches, sleep deprivation and chronic home sickness.

Now don't get me wrong, I do travel sometimes. I do enjoy looking at different places, getting my picture taken at world famous monuments but... it's a constant struggle. A struggle that as I am now well into my spring break (my last one, mind you) don't really associated with relaxation and refueling my energy for the rest of the school year.

I attribute it to my inability to chill out. I need to plan everything to the T. I have taken many personality tests and all of them told me what I already know: I have the lowest tolerance for ambiguity and uncertainty. I will literally have heart palpitations if I'm thrown off my well-crafted plans. And being in a strange place, not knowing anyone there is the most ambiguous situation I can think of. I literally need to have an hour by hour itinerary of the places I will visit and then research how to get there. It takes me hours just to plan a 3 day trip. So no, although flying off to Europe might seem like a good idea at a whim, it causes me too many anxieties to ever think that it's worth it.

Not to mention that airports are literally the worst place to be. The American airports I mean. Going through security and immigration would never be tolerable for a hijab wearing gal such as myself.

I don't know the point of this post. I just know that I need to get over it. I don't ever feel like I'm losing out by not travelling. I honestly think that I've seen the world enough. I've been to 3 continents. More than 15 states in the US. I've been to the East Coast 3 times. Southeast once. Western and Central Europe once. And the Middle East loads of time. I don't know. I just don't feel excited or relaxed at the idea of travelling. I'd much rather watch a movie or a theater production.

I have a few days until school restarts. I will spend that time reading blogs, writing in my diary and doing Pop Pilates on YouTube lol.

P.S. I started the beginner's calendar 3 days ago. My muscles literally felt like they have been torn apart. I have yet to proceed to Day 2 because of the excruciating pain on my abdomen. I have no core strength that it would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic.