Thursday, March 1, 2012

It's black and white ~~~

Real life events don't induce me to tears anymore.
I wonder why..

Of course fictional events I saw on television still do. But everything that happens around me doesn't make me tear up anymore.. 
Excruciating pain from surgery? No.. nope.
Pounding headache every second of everyday? No..
Feeling so stressed out over having 1 million things to do before school? Nahh.
Parents decide to be difficult and sputter harsh words? Nope. Not a single tear was shed.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is a huge, real progress as I've always been a big cry baby since the dawn of time. When I was in Standard 1 I cried for 3 months straight because I was so outraged by the new strange environment in school. And when I entered lower Form 1, I was so keen to be the 'smart kid' that I cried because I found out my intellectual level could never match to the existing smart kids in that school. 
Which was why I decided to stop caring come Form 2 but that's another long story zz.

The point is, tears have been constant companion. I don't exactly fancy it but it has done its part in keeping me sane over the years.

So what changed then?
Have I hardened inside?! Or did I simply grew up?

I guess I'll never know.
I like it this way though.. It doesn't make me strong or anything. How can you be strong when you don't even care enough to be weak...

It's so weird. I've became so distant. Hmm.
But I guess what's weirder is; no one has noticed.

So maybe this is all in my head....................
DUN DUN DUN.

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