Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Just smile back

It doesn't work when you suppress good memories just to remember the bad ones.
Good always triumphs above evil.
Love always triumphs above hate.

Almost 17 years of breathing have at least taught me that much.

But where do you draw the line? Where do you tell yourself that the good memories aren't worth remembering anymore? 

I'm not stupid. At least I don't think I am. But when you let go completely, is it possible to forget everything too? Is it possible to not wish to go back to that familiarity?
Because ultimately it's safer and it's less lonely there.

But you see, you have to go away from where you're not wanted.
You've stopped asking why you're not wanted because you'll never receive the answer anyway. But you feel so lonely in this strange, new place that you wonder why do things have to change when you're constant?

Why can't things be easy?
Why can't other people stay the same?
What is the terrible thing that I did to land myself in this awful position in the first place?

It's easy to feel better when you remind yourself what you have yet to uncover in the future. But really, you know, you don't really care for the future if you could still have what you had in the past now, in the present.

And now I will stop whining. I will stop being weak. And I'll stiffen up my upper lip because tears are not attractive on a 17 year old girl.

It's time to grow up.

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